If C. Nolan isn’t a coward…
Only one minor spoiler for a specific scene in Book 17 of the poem; no spoilers for the movie itself
The Odyssey is officially out. I haven’t yet seen it. In fact, I’ve managed to avoid almost all information about the plot of Nolan’s adaptation except for the following facts: Agamemnon (I think?) will helmet-mog Odysseus, Telemachus will use the word ‘dad’ to refer to Odysseus, and the Cyclops will appear. But I have reread the poem. And this is what I think Christopher Nolan should do, if he’s not a fucking coward.
1. Adapt the Telemachy in excruciating detail
The average fan of the Odyssey knows that the Telemachy (Telemachus’ journey to Pylos & Sparta) acts as an introduction to the plot’s themes of guest-friendship, and foreshadows / narratively sets up the revenge plot of the back half of the story. Therefore, it deserves close attention in any good adaptation.
Real fans know that the Telemachy is in fact so structurally detached from the plot that the German school of thought believed it to be a later addition to the epic. It delays the actual story of the poem, poses logical issues to the structure of the poem, and does not actually advance the plot in any meaningful way. So, the logical choice is to cut it from the film, right?
WRONG. The connoisseur understands that the Telemachy is worth it for the image of the absolute loser of a man, Menelaus, covering himself in seal skin and trying not to wretch as he tries to wrestle a shape-shifting god. Who cares if the Telemachy offers nothing to the plot? I want to see Menelaus be an absolute loser.
2. Odysseus’ tales should not be shown, and instead he should just tell them.
Books 9-12, i.e., the entire story of his journeys, is actually told through flashback in the Odyssey. One of the charms is that throughout the telling of the stories, you feel Odysseus’ character, perspective, and agenda come through. You lose that if you convert it into a series of cinematic set pieces.
If Christopher Nolan were not a coward, which he is, he would simply have a long shot of Matt Damon sat at a table telling the story of his travels, just like in the poem. And if he really weren’t a coward, he would have Matt Damon do silly little voices for all the different characters.
I admit that the way to get people interested in the epic poem won’t be to give up all the opportunities for an action sequence in the first half of the story in favour of dialogue at a feast. However, it would be more true to the poem. And, again, it would give us the chance to see Matt Damon do silly voices.
3. Invent a brand new set of plot-holes and blame it on oral-dictation
The original poem is full of narrative issues big and small, inconsistencies, and various problems of storytelling. A couple of main ones being the two trips to the underworld, especially the second one and the entirety of the final book of the poem.
There’s also the narrative trickery going on with the telling of the story of the Cyclops, whether the Cyclops are isolated or a community, and the whole thing with one or two eyes.
To capture this spirit, Christopher Nolan should introduce baffling inconsistencies that lead to the rise of entire branches of scholarship so at odds with each other that they throw hands at each other, even 2,500 years later.
4. Save the dog
I don’t care what actually happened in the poem. I will not go through losing that dog again. Christopher Nolan is in charge here. He has the power to save a life here. He has the power to rewrite the story. He can protect my boy. This is what the people want. Please, Christopher, please, I’m begging you. Please save him. I can’t do it again.
5. Make Polyphemus the Cyclops as terrifying as possible
Give him a French accent. That’s the evilest thing I can think of.